THE AGE OF WALLFLOWERS

A dance by Chopin noisily spreads in the hall A wild untamed dance —from an ode to Chopin's Grande Valse by Hermann Hesse

On January 1, the local PBS television station here broadcast the concert celebration from Vienna over and over, and it reminded me of what a sad state (literally) classical music is mired in. It seems as though all of the recent major works are now dedicated to the world's tragedies and injustices. We have war requiems, pieces protesting the subjugation of Tibet, and all modern operas seem anguished over something morbid—e.g., The Death of Klinghoffer; Dead Man Walking.

This is all admirable enough (I'm just saying that—I actually consider such pieces to be tedious), but at one time, and a fine time it was, classical music was principally concerned with dancing. The salient example of this is of course the music of Johann Strauss, Jr., who was not only the waltz king, but he also composed numerous polkas, quadrilles, gallops, ländlers and other pieces that were primarily designed as music that people would dance to.

Waltz composers such as the Strauss family and Emile Waldteufel may be considered today to be on the lower fringes of classical music, but what about J. S. Bach who composed four dance suites for orchestra (and many more for solo instruments) which include the popular dances of his day —gavotte, bourrée, allemande, minuet, saraband, jig, &c. And if J. S. Bach doesn't impress you enough, what of these other celebrated composers who wrote music based on popular dances?

• Al Glazunov—two extended waltzes for orchestra, opus 47 & 51
• Freddy Chopin—19 waltzes, 15 polonaises, 45 mazurkas, 3 fox trots and 1 limbo (though these last may be merely attributed to him)
• Frankie Liszt—Mephisto Waltz
• Pete Tchaikowski—numerous waltzes and various other dances in both his ballets and operas
• Al Scriabin—waltzes
• Spike Beethoven—polonaises, numerous German Dances, 6 ecossaises (a Scottish dance), 12 contradances for orchestra, 7 ländlers
  (Note: a ländler is a dance which involves both spinning and clapping.)
• Hans Brahms—Liebeslieder Waltzes, Hungarian Dances
• Tony Dvorák—Slavonic Dances
• Belly Bartók—Romanian Folk Dances
• Frank Schubert—numerous German Dances, 34 waltzes
• Jerry Weinberger—Polka and Fugue
• C. M. von Weber—numerous polaccas and polonaises

Such a list could be extended for as much as I need to pad this article, but the point is obvious. And if not all of those compositions were meant to be danced to, at least they were based on dance music. That is because classical music was alive and full of vigor then. Now, classical music seems preoccupied only with its own wake.

On with the dance! Let joy be unconfined. —from Byron's Childe Harold

What is needed, then, is obvious. We need classical performances in which the conductor turns to the audience and shouts, CUM'ON PEOPLE, GET UP AND DANCE! That may strike you as the most absurd thing yet from my fervid imagination and far beyond the pale of classical music, but consider that when classical music was alive and thriving, the conductor never said such a thing for the simple reason that the people were already dancing and the champagne was already flowing.

We ought to dance with rapture that we should be alive and in the flesh, and part of the living, incarnate cosmos. —D. H. Lawrence in Apocalypse 1931

It seems likely that in the course of human development, dancing preceded music. Not many academic musicians and pedants have thought about this or would care to, but originally music was probably something created solely to further and enhance dancing. Dancing needn't always be a frivolous activity, as it was once central to worship—a fact made manifest by Gustav Holst's superb Hymn of Jesus, and there are numerous exhortations to dance in Divine Scripture—e.g., "Let them praise His name in the dance" -Psalm 149:3. But where are the classical composers of today who write music that suggests dancing, that inspires dancing? Where are the classical composers of today who are even able to write music for dancing?

The fact that music has become perverted and sidetracked from its dance roots is a symptom of how confused our society has become. (A similar phenomenon is how sport has been debased from a recreational activity to entertainment for spectators.) I declare and aver that classical music will never regain its former glory unless composers return to writing music that the audience can dance to, because unless composers devise music that makes the audience want to spin and clap, the tradition of Beethoven will be lost.

We lift up a solemn note of warning...and entreaty against dancing. —The Doctrines and Discipline of the Methodist Episcopal Church, III, 1932

The causes of this dreadful situation are obvious. The principal reason is that, as I've been saying all along, classical music has been hijacked by the prim and proper who have turned it into a solemn ritual. Instead of music for dancing, classical music is now music for sitting perfectly still, music for a grim frown and music for penance. Merely tapping one's foot at a concert will earn a baleful glare and stern reproach, so jumping for joy or moving rhythmically to the music might land one in the pillory for a night.

The other reason that dancing is no longer associated with classical music is that there seem to be no modern dances to which music could be written. Dancing now follows no specific steps or rhythm. I have been to parties given by those of the African persuasion, and the dancing there consisted mainly of simulated venery regardless of what music was being played. At the raves and discos favored by young suburbanites, the dancing consists of highly regimented jerking motions of the arms. The feet do not move much, and the same movements are made to every tune —which is understandable, as every piece is in the same key, repeats the same single chord and has the identical beat—it's all in 4 at about 110 BPM.

The most recent dances in which actual steps were used to a specific style of music were the Macarena and the Lambada, which came from Spain and Brazil, respectively. But where are the dances from English-speakers and Northern Europeans? What happened to all the dances which regularly emerged from Poland? Terrorism seems a minor threat to Western Civilization compared to our forgetting how to dance, and no wonder music is in such a sad state today if its parent, dance, has died.

I would speculate that if old J. S. Bach were alive today and writing his dance suites, he'd be forced to have movements such as:

1. Low Carb Diet
2. Zoloft
3. Liposuction
4. Divorce Settlement
5. Multiple Allergy Syndrome
6. Perp Walk
7. Attack Ad
8. Paxil
9. Celebrity Trial
10. Botox
11. Car Alarm

For those are the things which have replaced dancing at the core of our society.

Ah, Terpsichore, weep for us! Having forgotten you, our lives are reduced to drudgery. Our feet are now vestiges of a time when we were not afraid of life. Our smiles are cosmetic. Our worship is by rote. Our joys are the evanescent rewards of greed. Our songs are music in name only. A symphony is now a sermon. We are the dry brown leaves blown by the prevailing wind.
Who will dance for us?